Devil in Disguise

Elvis was not singing about the baseball team that plays in St. Petersburg, Florida, but apparently there is more in a name than most people think. No longer in disguise and well on their way to making history, they will actually be playing on national TV as opposed to TBS. Nothing against TBS, but the Red Sox-Rays series captured the hearts of baseball fans across the country and could have been seen by even a larger audience if they played on FOX. Since the Florida franchise existed in 1998, they have been nothing short of horrible coming last in their division every year except once. Then they remove the name Devil from Devil-rays and are now playing in the World Series, though is World really the most appropriate name? How could it be called the World Series when all the teams in MLB, with the exception of those Blue Jays in Canada ay, play right here in the states? Yes, the best players come from all around the globe to play in the majors, but until a team comes from Spain, the Dominican Republic, Japan, or any other country it is tough to actually consider it the World Series. Either way the Rays have come from nowhere by playing an exciting brand of baseball with young talent and defying all odds {literally 100-1 odds to win the World Series before the season started}

Joe Maddon is the obvious manager of the year. Unlike another madden, who is known for his captain obvious statements and giant yellow circles that take up an entire screen, this maddon is actually intelligent. {Now all he has to do is create his own videogame} His methods might not necessarily be the most conventional, yet the results are indisputable. He has put his club in a chance to win it all even after tweaking his starters in games 5 and 6 plus surviving an epic scare after losing to Boston with a seven run lead. The most important thing he has done is allowing his team to play with a sense of purpose. His young core of talent has played with confidence throughout the entire season by overcoming adversity that has been thrown at them. Being able to win the AL East Pennant with the Redsox and Yankees chasing them was remarkable in itself, but beating both colored soxs {white and red} in the post season was a statement to the rest of baseball that these Rays are in fact for real.

Evan Longoria and B.J. Upton have become instant stars in the playoffs producing a ridiculous 13 homeruns and 26 RBI’s combined. There ages are respectively 23 and 24 which allows for Tampa fans to actually look forward to the future. Imagine free agents actually choosing to come to Tampa Bay not just for the warm weather, but to actually win baseball games. Their pitching has also been impressive not just in the playoffs but regular season as well. Matt Garza was the most underrated offseason acquisition in baseball from the Minnesota Twins winning MVP of the ALCS. While their future looks bright, the present seems imminent for them to capture World Series rings. The Philadelphia Phillies have not been to the big series since 1993 and most years would gain my support, but this year is different. This Rays team is headed for destiny and is too talented with hitters up and down the lineup. Their bull pen which has been the strength of this team all season long just got even better after the performance of first round pick David Price whose fast ball help record the final four outs in game 7. The Phillies are a great team but question marks remain with their starting pitching. The inconsistent Brett Myers, the AARP recipient Jamie Moyer, and your average Joe in Mr. Blanton are not exactly the most threatening opponents which is why the Rays will ultimately win the series 4-2.

Another possible team that can go from worst to first in just one year similar to the Boston Celtics is great for sports. Who knows, maybe the Dolphins are next? What makes this Rays team so fun to root for is that they give all dysfunctional organizations like raider nation, the Lions, and especially my Knicks a reason to believe that one day their luck will also turn around.

NFL Awards for the Month of September

A Quarter of the way through the NFL season so what does that mean? Well it becomes much easier to evaluate the contenders from the pretenders, futures that seem bright compared to those not quite right and teams that are playing pretty while others, let’s just say look shitty.
Most Impressive Team- Tennessee Titans
This is a tough one as many teams have risen above expectations. Nobody honestly could have thought your undefeated teams heading into week 5 of the NFL season would be the Titans, Bills, and Giants. {Ok maybe the super bowl champs you could have} The edge has to be given to the Titans slightly because what they have done so far has been with a backup quarterback in journeyman Kerry Collins. Yes he did take the Giants to the super bowl, but to be this good without your starting quarterback is pretty remarkable. Throw in a great defense, a touchdown machine in LenDale White {5 in 4 games} and an early front runner for rookie of the year in Chris Johnson and this is a team that will be playing deep into December.
Most Disappointing Team- Cleveland Browns
Many {maybe this was just me} expected the Browns to continue off last season’s success while possibly even winning the AFC North. Derek Anderson looked like the real deal after last season, but it seems imminent Brady Quinn may get his opportunity to start sooner than expected. {So stop doing those stupid EAS drink commercials and start getting prepared to play} Their opponents are not getting easier. After this bye week they face the Giants, Redskins, Jaguars, and Ravens, whose defenses are solid with each team having winning percentages of .500 or better. Braylon Edwards, Kellen Winslow, and Jamal Lewis’s performances have not helped either while their newest acquisition, Donte’ Stallworth, has still yet to play.
Biggest Joke of a Franchise- Cincinnati Bengals
Ocho Cinco is playing closer to Ocho Stinko. I do not understand why the Bengals receiver legally changed his name. If anything the team should legally change their name to the Cincinnati Trouble Makers. We all know their long history with players getting arrested, but apparently they wanted to add to that list with the signing of Cedric Benson. What a great way to clean up your image with fans. Between a boating incident in May and a drunk driving charge in June he just needs one more indictment to become their full time starting running back. By the way, Chris Henry comes back this week from suspension, I wonder if they will make a play at O.J. Simpson next?
Dumbest Owner- Al Davis
Lane became Lame duck Kiffin as he was supposedly going to be fired no matter what the Raiders record was heading into the bye week. He certainly is not the greatest coach ever to exist posting a 5-15 record; however, the team improved considerably under his leadership and were at least competitive {this just shows how bad they were before he got there} The last 2 seasons before Kiffin took over they were a combined 6-26. Since their 2002 Super bowl visit, it has been close between the number of hiring’s Al Davis has made and their total amount of victories.
Best Fantasy Value-Jay Cutler
This guy looks like a top 3 quarterback on any given week in fantasy matchups, yet he was drafted anywhere from the 6th to 8th round in most leagues. The Broncos high power passing game is dangerous for opposing defensive coordinators. He currently has the most fantasy points for a QB so good move to those who waited on him, as his value will only continue to increase as the season progresses.
Best Upset- Miami Dolphins 38 New England Patriots 13
Ronnie Brown had 4 rushing TD’s and 1 throwing doing his best impersonation of LaDainian Tomlinson. They completely humiliated the Pats who coming into the game won 21 consecutive regular season games. There last lost in the regular season was also to the Dolphins dating back to 2006. By the way the Tom Bradyless Patriots were the home team in this blowout and Las Vegas believed they were the favorites by 12.5. Way to get this one wrong bookies.
Biggest Bone Head- Terrell Owens
Yes on the field this guy is the best at what he does, off the field that’s a different story. His touchdown antics are sometimes fun to watch {I especially enjoyed his Usain Bolt impression} but he supposedly complained about not getting enough balls thrown his way after a loss to the Redskins. I do not think he will consistently be a problem, but c’mon a third of Tony Romo’s passes went your way, so do not annoy your quarterback like you did with Jeff Garcia and Donovan McNabb. Just shut up and play. The Cowboys have the most talented group of players, but will that translate into the most talented team? Between T.O., Tony Romo, Tank Johnson, and Pacman, {sorry} Adam Jones these guys certainly like the spotlight.
And Lastly
It Sucks to be…- Ed Hochuli
During the Broncos-Chargers game in week 2, this referee clearly made an incorrect call rewarding the football back to the Broncos after Jay Cutler fumbled it late in the fourth quarter. The Chargers still had multiple opportunities to win the game, but they could not stop the Broncos from not only scoring a TD, but a two point conversion that ultimately cost them the game. Rather than blaming themselves for blowing a fourth quarter lead, similar to week 1’s meltdown against the Panthers, the Chargers and their fans put the blame on Mr. Hochuli. {the one ref who quite possibly is in touch with Barry Bonds personal trainer}The real test for the Chargers will be come playoff time, and whether or not they can pull through in the clutch. It remains to be seen if they can win these tight games. Officials make mistakes not just in the NFL, but in all sports and it is an unfortunate part of the game. Teams have to learn to deal with it by evaluating their own personnel problems rather than criticizing officials. By the way Charger fans, stop sending death threats to a more than respectable veteran referee, if you guys are still annoyed by the loss, than put blame where it properly belongs… On the Defense.

Quaterbacks

The NFL regular season is almost here and with that comes Fantasy Football. So here is my list of the best Quarterbacks in order, but rather than just giving you a list like most other magazines I figured it would be more fun to rank and compare them to famous musicians:

1. Tom Brady-Lil Wayne

Hate both of them yet dominate in what they do

2. Tony Romo-Jessica Simpson

Up and coming stars plus the paparazzi loves them {and maybe cause they are going out}

3. Peyton Manning-Garth Brooks

Country boys who are extremely popular and hard to dislike

4. Drew Brees-Jimmy Buffett

Both just make you feel good

5. Carson Palmer-Sublime

Will never truly hit full potential

6. Derek Anderson-Spice Girls

Great supporting cast

7. Ben Roethlisberger-Bruce Springsteen

Nope your mom’s wrong, neither one is Jewish

8. Donovan McNabb-50 Cent

As tough as they come {injuries, Rush Limbaugh, shot 9 times}

9. Matt Hasselbeck-Phil Collins

Never gets enough credit yet they are really good

10. Brett Favre-Cher

Don’t know when to retire {Sorry I stole this one from Rick Reilly of ESPN}

11. Eli Manning-Janet Jackson

Successful but will never compare to that other sibling

12. Jake Delhomme- Elton John

Nobody wants to admit to it, but let’s face it you like both of them

13. David Garrard-John Legend

Smooth professionals whose personalities are both calm and cool

14. Marc Bulger-Third Eye Blind

Used to be really good but where have they been lately?

15. Jay Cutler-John Mayer

Both have potential to truly be spectacular

16. Kurt Warner-Tony Bennet

Somehow still playing?

17. Jon Kitna-Britney Spears

Anyone associated with the Lions or Kevin Federline can go under the category “complete mess”

18. Philip Rivers-The Jonas Brothers

One word: Overrated

19. Matt Schaub-Gavin DeGraw

Young with mild talent

20. Jason Campbell-Gnarles Barkley

Having 3different offensive coordinators in now his fourth season must make him feel “crazy”

21. Aaron Rodgers-New Kids on the Block

Literally! {and he looks a little like Joey McIntyre without the facial hair}

22. JaMarcus Russell-The Notorious B.I.G.

One has mammoth arm strength while the other was just a mammoth

23. Jeff Garcia-Def Leppard

Old and washed-up

24. Chad Pennington-Nickelback

Solid but nothing special

25. Vince Young-Blue Man Group

Entertaining, fun to watch but hardly the greatest

26. J.T. O’Sullivan-Hanson

Quick name 2 Hanson songs? At best he is a one hit wonder under Mike Martz

27. Kyle Orton-Daniel Powter

Hey Chicago fans, get ready to have a “bad day”

28. Tarvaris Jackson-Lanz {Shout out to Edison}

Both have potential but don’t count on it

29. Matt Ryan- Daughtry

Both of their futures seem bright

30. Trent Edwards- Bo Bice

Their futures on the other hand…not so much

31. Ravens Qb’s- Panic! At The Disco

More like panic behind center, which one of the three will it be?

32. Brodie Croyle-Bjork

They both suck or as Charles Barkley would say “They’re terrrrrible”

Fantastic "4"

He’s a Superhero! Well at least Jet fans would agree. Besides just being a living legend and a guarantee first ballot Hall of Famer, he is a top ten quarterback in NFL history looking to recapture the magic he had for 16 seasons in Green Bay. Brett a Jet! It just sounds compelling and brings true excitement to this team for the first time in quite awhile. Brett Favre’s jersey sales as a NY Jet skyrocketed with the most purchases in a single day. Their offseason was already productive, but #4 puts the icing on the cake making this team as promised earlier, worth writing about.

Of course there will be skeptics and disbelievers about Favre and the Jets marriage being simply a spectacle with no results in the end. Yes Favre is on the cover of Madden, and his gun slinging mentality might not necessarily fit Coach Mangini’s mantra of playing ultra conservative; however, the Jets are still a playoff bound team. Brett Favre will still have enough time in camp to become successful with his new receivers who are scarily similar to his old ones. Laveranues Coles is 5-11 who had 55 receptions last year. Greg Jennings also 5-11 had 53 receptions last season. Still do not believe me? Jerricho Cotchery who stands at 6 feet caught 82 passes for 1,130 yards with 2 Touch Downs. Donald Driver also a 6 foot receiver had 82 catches of his own for 1,048 yards with 2 Touch Downs. Besides the Coles-Cotchery connection, Favre has other strong options including the first round selection Dustin Keller and an old friend of his from Green Bay in Bubba Franks. Add Thomas Jones to the back-field with newly acquired seven time pro bowler Alan Faneca protecting center and this offensive may now be as productive as say one was in Green Bay a year ago!

Besides having a more than respectable offense then years past, this defense made significant upgrades as well. Adding productive veterans in Calvin Pace and Kris Jenkins will help solidify their defense. They further increased their line backing core, through the draft, by selecting Veron Gholston. Getting versatile players who not only fill a specific void in last year’s team but players that can rush the opposing quarterback and stop the run, will pay vast dividends for a team that runs a 3-4 defensive scheme.

While it is hard to argue that the Jets can win the AFC East with the New England Patriots standing in their way, history may support me on this one. The Patriots may be dealing with a super bowl hangover after falling one quarter shy of the perfect season. Seven of the last ten super bowl losing teams did not even make the playoffs the following season! On top of that, the Jets have an easier schedule then last year. Rather than playing the NFC East teams which delivered 3 playoff teams including the Super bowl Champion Giants, the Jets face the NFC West. Other then the Seattle Seahawks, the St. Louis Rams, Arizona Cardinals, and San Francisco 49ners are as pathetic as the news of Clay Aiken artificially inseminating someone so he can become a father! With Oakland, Kansas City and the one win Dolphins of last year on their schedule twice, it seems fair to argue their win total of four will increase dramatically.

Last but not least, this trade for Favre is a low risk high reward type deal. Giving up a fourth rounder with the potential of it becoming a first rounder is worth it. If the Jets make it all the way to the Super bowl, fans will not care or remember they lost a first round pick in the process. The deal is simple, who would you rather have leading your team, the best quarterback in their history other than Joe Namath with Brett Favre or sticking it out with Chad Pennington whose arm strength is as powerful as my grandmother. I actually liked Pennington {though most New Yorkers could not be happier to see him leave}, but no person in their right mind can make a legit argument he is better than Brett Favre. Even years seem to be in the Jets favor as 2002, 2004, and 2006 were all playoff seasons. Now as 2008, approaches the playoffs seem more realistic than ever before and once you make it there anything is possible even if it is indeed a wild card spot. Just look at the other team from New York!

Summer's Slow While October Quickly Approaches

The NBA and NFL are in their off seasons, and I refuse to write about the overblown Brett Favre soap opera unless he ends up in a Jet Uniform. {If this happens a potential article could be in the works}A preview of the USA Olympic basketball team could have been expected, but there is nothing new and captivating to report. USA is expected to and should win gold. Anything less is failure. The players know it and so do the fans. The Nadal vs. Federer Wimbledon final was compelling to watch, but did you really expect a tennis article from me. Sorry to disappoint, though it was an amazing match to watch, especially when John McEnroe calls it the greatest tennis match he has ever seen. Tiger Woods is injured so there goes the relevance of watching golf. ESPN has tried to make things interesting by having their own Title Town Tournament which focused on choosing the best sport cities in all of America. You will never guess what won the best sports town in the entire country… Valdosta. Huh? Does anyone even know if this place exists or better yet what state it is in? {Here is my famous fun fact of the day- Valdosta is in Georgia} Well at least one thing is reliant for fans during the hot summer days, The MLB season also known as a marathon is still trotting along.

The AL East has by far been the most compelling division in baseball with drama at its premium. The Rays are young and talented and this whole notion of inexperience I am not buying. All teams with a core consisting of young talented players will eventually climb over that hurdle of being labeled inexperienced, similar to the 2003 Champion Marlins, 2005 White Sox, or last year’s Colorado Rockies. This season's Rays team is still in first place in their division as August approaches, and does not look close to letting this lead slip away. The Bronx Bombers will squeak into the wild-card spot thanks to surprisingly good starting pitching from Mike Mussina, Andy Pettitte, and Joba Chamberlain. The Yanks lineup is just too deep and with the additions of Xavier Nady and Pudge Rodriguez to the everyday lineup, they are just that much more dangerous for opposing pitchers. Being a part of Red Sox Nation, it also must be hard to justify that they are a better team after losing Manny plus two prospects. Jason Bay is a fine player, but how can he replace a future Hall of Famer in left field after “Manny being Manny” helped deliver them 2 World Series. With the loss of production and slight struggles in the bull pen they seem to have the greatest chance of falling just shy of the post season.

Many people are suddenly joining the Angels bandwagon and rightfully so. They have the best record in baseball and acquired the 2^nd biggest name during the trade deadline {behind Manny} in Mark Teixeira. He is a perfect fit for a team that has lacked incredible power and RBI numbers. With great starting and relief pitching, plus now a more formidable lineup, look for them to be representing the American League in the World Series.

As good as the Angles are, my pick to win it all might come as a surprise, but the Chicago Cubs after 100 years of disappointment will finally come through. The reason is simple; starting pitching. The formula for winning come October, revolves around quality pitching. The Cubs are deep with two legitimate CY Young Candidates in Carlos Zambrano {12-4} with a 2.80 ERA and Ryan Dempster {12-4} with a 2.90 ERA. The newly acquired Rich Harden is not half bad either with 39 strikeouts in his first four starts for the Cubs, and Ted Lilly also provides quality depth to their rotation. Besides their excellent pitching, they are the most complete team in baseball with more all-star selected players than any other team in the majors. They have star power throughout their lineup led by Alfonso Soriano at the top followed by Derrek Lee, Aramis Ramirez, Kosuke Fukudome, and Geovany Soto. They have a proven winner in Lou Piniella managing the team and the confidence to finally come over distractions if a Bartman incident were to occur. The Cubs just faced their biggest test of the season and responded by posting a four game sweep over their division rival Brewers in Milwaukee. These Cub players are ready to break the curse of not winning a championship similar to the Red Sox and White Sox. It has been a 100 years! Theodore Roosevelt was the president for crying out loud since they last held up a World Series banner. Once October rolls around, look for the cursed Cubs to finally turn their luck around in the form of a World Series Championship.

NBA Draft- Top 5 Winners and Losers

Winners:

Raptors: Before the draft even started, they received an all star in Jermaine O’Neal for T.J. Ford, Rasho Nesterovic, and the 17^th pick which became Roy Hibbert. These three are all decent players, but the potential of having O’Neal and Bosh on the court together creates the most potent frontcourt in the Eastern Conference. O’Neal has been injury plagued throughout his career, but so too has T.J. Ford. It seems like a wash yet there still remains a large disparity in talent between the two. Jose Calderon has also blossomed into a pleasant surprise for the Raptors. The only thing that might scare me is that their frontline seems similar to the Knicks big men of Randolph and Curry. The difference is after two years if this experiment in Toronto does not work out, they are both free agents. In New York, Randolph and Curry are stuck for a while because both have horrible contracts.

Nets: While I don’t love them losing Jefferson for a guy who sounds like a Pokémon character, Yi Jianlian, it allows them flexibility to get under the salary cap to try and woo Lebron into playing for his buddy Jay-Z. They also got bigger with adding the best center in the draft, Brook Lopez, with the tenth selection. He reminds me of Chris Kaman, a serviceable center who will average close to 10 and 10 for his career. Ryan Anderson is also someone who can stretch the court and will see playing time. To top it all off, they got the biggest steal in the draft. Chris-Douglas-Roberts, nicknamed CDR, plays like Tayshaun Prince with an unconventional shot. He can get to the basket and is a long and athletic defender who’s a proven winner. It would not surprise me if he becomes Jefferson’s long term replacement, and at #40 this is not a steal, its armed robbery.

Grizzles: They gave up two nice players, Mike Miller and Kevin Love for a potential all star in O.J. Mayo. Every team seemed to want this guy coming into the draft and the Heat even debated taking him 2^nd overall. The Grizzles need a player who can bring fans to the stands. Their best player entering the draft was Rudy Gay. Fans do not want to wear “Gay” on the back of their jerseys. Mayo is their new leader and now they need to address additional forwards in the off-season. They also added the Kansas product, Darrel Arthur with the 27^th pick who was supposed to be a lottery pick. As my friend Larry David would say, that is “Pretty Pretty Pretty Good.”

Blazers: They got a scorer in Jerryd Bayless who the Heat potentially were thinking about trading down for. They fell in love with his talent because he can create his own shot and has great 3 point range. Bayless and Roy in the backcourt will be scary for opposing defenses to handle. They also may have the rookie of the year. {remember Greg Oden} This team is ready to take the next step by making the playoffs thanks to their young core of high character players.

Rockets: Surprisingly I have inside sources. {Shout out to “Chummus” and his brother} He was alongside scouts as they watched players perform for the Washington Wizards. He believed the most impressive shooter in the draft and biggest sleeper pick could be Donte Greene. Well, he fell to the right team in Houston. He can come in off the bench, average 15-20 min per game and knock down some perimeter shots. I’m also in love with Joey Dorsey’s game. He is an athletic, tough defender who should have also been a first round pick. This guy can flat out rebound and will find a way to earn minutes at the next level.

Losers:

Sonics: Why did they have 5 picks in the first place? It does not make sense when only 12 make an active roster. This is not the NFL where the more picks you have the better off you are. Russell Westbrook is a good defender and athletic combo guard who would fit an already talented team, not the rebuilding Sonics who do not even know where there home will be next season. His stock rose tremendously as the draft drew closer, but I question his overall skills as being the fourth best player. Kevin Durant needs another scorer on this roster. What they really needed was a Robin to assist their Batman. Instead all they got with Westbrook was a Joker.

Bobcats: We all know Michael Jordan can make a jump shot but not much of a draft aficionado. {He selected Kwame Brown #1 overall} With two picks in the first round and “What can Brown do for you” on the sidelines {nothing if it involves the Knicks} it looked like a potentially good night. That is until they took D.J. Augustin. Now I like Augustin, but they already have a young point guard in Raymond Felton. They need a center so they can shift Emeka Okafor back to his natural position at the 4. The best center in the draft, Brook Lopez, was still on the board and could have fit a Larry Brown team with his scoring around the rim and shot blocking ability. Then they selected Alexis Ajinca who might not even play this year. What are they waiting for? They haven’t made the playoffs since the existence of their organization, so you would think now is the time to find players that can contribute right away?

Kings: Memo to the Maloof Brothers- If you like a player that no other GM has any interest in there is a thing called trading down. Jason Thompson may be great, but nobody else projected him to be a lottery pick. The Rider prospect taken in the first round was surprising in itself let alone going 12^th overall was downright stupid. If they traded back and took him later in the draft, they would have been able to acquire other needs to help build around for the future.

Dallas: This seems unfair to criticize a team that had no first round picks, but anyone who watched them in the playoffs can agree the one thing they lacked was youth. With a new coach and outlook I was expecting them to try and trade one of their veterans {Devean George, Eddie Jones, Tyronn Lue, Jamal Magloire, or Jerry Stackhouse} for a possible first round pick or just younger players. They were not even involved in any rumors, so they better use the offseason to improve their bench or else they will look old again and run off the court come playoff time.

Knicks: I like Danilo Galinari. Let me repeat that I like the so called “Italian Stallion” at the 6^th spot. The NBA is changing with most teams having international players on their roster. It was time for the Knicks to take a gamble on adding a European of their own. Plus guards like Eric Gordon and Jerryd Bayless who were still available, are great scorers, but the Knicks already have a bunch of selfish guards who shoot first in Marbury, Crawford, and Robinson. What was disappointing about draft night was that a point guard of the future was not established. Marbury’s contract ends after this season and he is the only true point guard on the team. The offseason will be vital for them to land a floor general that can flourish in Mike D’Antoni’s system. Hopefully the new guys running the show know what they are doing, which I believe they do.

From Worst to First

As much as I hate to admit it… Boston is the best sports town. The Red Sox winning the World Series and Patriots running the table only to fall one quarter shy of another Super bowl{which also would have completed a perfect season} was quite impressive. Even Major League Soccer’s New England Revolution made it to the cup finals in back to back seasons. I know the MLS is considered as fake as Pamela Anderson’s tits but it helps make my argument plus I enjoy watching my New York Red Bulls. {and yes Red Bull is responsible for more than just giving you wings and jaggerbombs they also do have a soccer team.} With the Boston Celtics capturing NBA hardware for the first time since 1986, a potential dynasty is in the making.

You know what The Mighty Ducks, Bad News Bears, and every other sports movie has in common? These teams are absolutely terrible from the beginning and by the time the credits roll around they somehow find a way to win. You have all seen this script play out before, and can certainly say it about the Boston Celtics who had the biggest turn around in just one season. They couldn’t win a game last year. In fact they couldn’t even win the NBA Draft Lottery! The team a year ago was as pathetic as watching the drunk David Hasselhoff eat a burger off the floor.GM Danny Ainge was on the hot seat, yet remained patient in keeping Doc Rivers as head coach. Acquiring Ray Allen was a heavily criticized move at the time. Then Ainge’s former teammate and friend, Kevin McHale, delivered Ainge a generous gift. This included Kevin Garnet for Al Jefferson, Sebastian Telfair {the shittier cousin of self proclaimed Starbury and creator of $15 shoes} and a bunch of other scrubs. The big 3 erased memories of last season’s worst record by winning a league high 66 games.

The Celtics run in the playoffs was entertaining to watch and included two games 7’s with the Hawks and the Cavs. {aka the Lebrons}The finals actually drew ratings unlike previous seasons that have been uneventful. Usually the Spurs are involved whose boring brand of basketball is less exciting to watch than my bobble head collection. The Celtics v. Lakers rivalry was renewed making an intriguing finals matchup. The Celtics game 4 win became an instant classic after trailing by 24 points. Role players such as Eddie House and James Posey chipped away at the score to take a commanding 3-1 lead in the series. Then the Celtics had a Kimbo Slice performance to win the title by 39. Did Odom and Gasol even show up in this series? Where was Phil’s famous triangle? Even Kobe didn’t have that breakout game? The answer was assistant coach Tom Thibodeau’s scheme that made Boston the best defensive team throughout the course of the season. Paul Pierce deservedly earned Finals MVP after shutting down Kobe Bryant throughout the series as well as putting up big scoring numbers of his own.

What is scary to think about these Celtics is that they can easily be back here next year with Pierce, Garnett, and Allen still in their prime. The words role player get thrown around a bunch by sports writers and commentators, but the Celtics role players, as The Rock would say, knew their role. {and shut their mouths you jabroni} Kendrick Perkins is a young and developing center while Rajon Rondo has all the tools to be a great point guard if he can develop a jump shot. Like the Red Sox and Patriots who have brought home multiple championships in recent memory, so to will these Boston Celtics.